HuMorKu

[simson]

Originally Posted by simson

60. Apa bedanya aku dan kau?
Aku dan kau, jelekan kau (nyanyiin pake lagu susu dancow)

uda gw nyanyin lagi

[h_faith168]

[Pietro]

wkkkkk..........lucu baget yg diatas..ironissssssssssss

[h_faith168]

[boro-boro]

Originally Posted by h_faith168

ketelen begitchu orangnya...ck2..

[endro88]

Tukang Minyak & Malaikat

Seorang penjual minyak goreng keliling seperti biasa menjajakan dagangannya di tepian Sungai Citarum. “Nyak… nyak… minyaaaaaaaaaaaaak”, teriaknya.

Di jalanan menurun tiba-tiba gerobaknya yang penuh dengan botol minyak tergelincir ke Sungai Citarum. Lung… lap… tenggelam deh ceritanya…

“Huuuuu… huuuu….”, menangislah dia…. “Harus kuberi makan apa istriku nanti… huuu…”

Tiba-tiba… seorang Malaikat yang baik hati muncul dan bertanya : “Hai, BAJURI… kenapa gerangankah sehingga engkau menangis begitu?” Ternyata… namanya BAJURI… tahu juga ya itu Malaikat….

“Oh, Malaikat… gerobak minyak goreng saya tergelincir ke sungai…”

“Baiklah… aku akan ambilkan untukmu…”

Tiba-tiba Malaikat itu menghilang dan muncul lagi dengan sebuah kereta kencana dari emas, penuh dengan botol dari intan…

“Inikah punyamu?” tanya Malaikat…

“Bukan… gerobakku tidak sebagus itu… mana mungkin penghasilan saya yang 6 juta sebulan bisa beli kereta kencana? Itu pun sudah ditambah komisi penjualan yang cuma sedikit.”

Malaikat itu pun menghilang lagi dan muncul dengan sebuah kereta perak dengan botol dari perunggu.

“Inikah punyamu?” tanyanya lagi.

“Bukan, hai Malaikat yang baik… Punyaku cuma dari besi biasa… botolnya juga botol biasa…”

Lalu Malaikat itu pergi lagi… dan kali ini kembali dengan gerobak dan botol Si BAJURI.

“Inikah punyamu?”

“Alhamdulillah… benar ya Malaikat. Terima kasih sekali engkau telah mengambilkannya untukku”.

Malaikat berkata, “Engkau jujur sekali, ya BAJURI. Untuk itu sebagai hadiah… aku berikan semua kereta dan botol tadi untukmu…”

“???????? Alhamdulillah…. terima kasih ya Allah… terima kasih ya Malaikat…”

Sebulan kemudian, BAJURI rafting bersama istrinya di sungai yang sama…. Naas tak dapat ditolak, malang tak bisa dihindari… Perahu karetnya terbalik dan istrinya hanyut…

“Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…. huuuuuuuuuuu……. istriku… di mana engkau….”, isaknya…

Tiba-tiba Malaikat pun muncul lagi… “Kenapa lagi engkau, ya BAJURI?”

“Istri saya hanyut dan tenggelam di sungai, hai Malaikat…”

“Ohhh… tenang… aku ambilkan…”

Plash… Malaikat itu menghilang dan tiba-tiba muncul kembali sambil membawa Nafa Urbach… yang ada tato mawar di perutnya…

“Inikah istrimu?” tanya Malaikat.

“Betul, Malaikat… dialah istriku…”

“Haaaaaa…. BAJURI!!!” Malaikat membentak marah. “Sejak kapan kamu berani bohong? Di manakah kejujuran kamu sekarang?”

Sambil bergetar dan berjongkok… BAJURI berkata: “Ya, Malaikat… kalau aku jujur… nanti engkau menghilang lagi dan membawa Bella Saphira… kalau kubilang lagi bukan… maka engkau akan menghilang lagi dan membawa lagi istriku yang sebenarnya…

Lalu… engkau akan bilang bahwa aku jujur sekali… dan engkau akan memberikan ketiga-tiganya kepadaku… Buat membiayai hidup Nafa saja aku bingung gimana caranya… apalagi tiga-tiganya???”

[simson]

[simson]

[h_faith168]

[h_faith168]

9. Jauhi Alkohol dan kopi


10. Senyumlah,karena dengan senyuman dunia akan cerah.


11. Jangan terlalu memanjakan diri sendiri


12. Mandillah minimal 2kali sehari.


13. Bacalah untuk melatih otak.

[Pietro]

sedih banget tuh cewe...................

[Dav-K]

Warning untuk para cowo





Dan ini untuk para Bapak

[endro88]

Something for u to digest!

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.

"Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up to 60 mph.

"I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph.


"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat."

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.

This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says.

"Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles.

...."The airbag."....

Never underestimate how a woman thinks.

Moral of the story:
Buy Toyota VIOS as it has only one airbag (for driver only). The husband sure die and wife gets everything! So, for a husband don't buy a Vios today....

Husbands, pls take insurance! but.. think twice for MCIS insurance.

Know why?

" M.C.I.S "= Mati Cepat Isteri Senang

[endro88]

A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the
loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to
Taiwan on
business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank
officer tells him that the bank will need some form of
security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys of a
new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He
produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer
agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh
at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral
against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the
Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and
the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had
your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but
we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you
out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us
is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park
my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there
when I return?"

[Pietro]

A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the
loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to
Taiwan on
business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank
officer tells him that the bank will need some form of
security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys of a
new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He
produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer
agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh
at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral
against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the
Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and
the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had
your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but
we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you
out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us
is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park
my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there
when I return?"

hahahaha..........jadi genius san bannk nya ato si chinese nya........??
mari kita pikirkan bersama.............

[Pietro]

Moral of the story:
jagan ajak istri cerai di toyota VIOS, apalagi kalo dia yg nyetir...........wkekeke

[h_faith168]

[h_faith168]

[h_faith168]

[may_bee88]

hahhahaah, tapi kan dia udah kaya karena dapat emas n perak ....gimana c.....gagag