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As believers, we have a Father who loves us. He desires the best for us. We're part of a large spiritual family with many brothers and sisters. But sometimes we still feel lonely. This can happen even when there's no major crisis in our lives.
Our greatest loneliness comes from a separation from the Father. This is a spiritual problem. The source is sin. We experience a break in our close fellowship with the Lord when we disobey Him and go our own way.
The remedy is confession. Confession leads to restored intimacy with God. If we refuse to admit our sin, the separation grows worse.
Busyness and preoccupation with earthly affairs also cause this isolation. Sometimes we push aside time with God to fulfill our obligations. We might focus so heavily on daily living that we ignore Him. To overcome loneliness, spend time reconnecting with God through His Word. Take in the knowledge of His deep, abiding love. Meditate on His great promises.
Being in harmony with God renews our purpose and energy for life causing that sense of isolation to lessen. Hope replaces discouragement. Our focus turns from "self" to others.
It's important to reconnect with people. So, look for opportunities to encourage, serve, love, and support those around you. Intimacy with the Lord is both the antidote to loneliness and protection from it.
Dear God,
why do I keep fighting you off?
One part of me wants you desparately,
another part of me unknowingly
pushes you back and runs away.
What is there in me that
so contradicts my desire for you?
These transition days, these passage ways,
are calling me to let go of old securities,
to give myself over into your hands.
Like Jesus who struggled with the pain
I, too, fight the "let it all be done."
Loneliness, lostness, non-belonging,
all these hurts strike out at me,
leaving me pained with this present goodbye.
I want to be more but I fight the growing.
I want to be new but I hang unto the old.
I want to live but I won't face the dying.
I want to be whole but cannot bear
to gather up the pieces into one.
Is it that I refuse to be out of control,
to let the tears take their humbling journey,
to allow my spirit to feel its depression,
to stay with the insecurity of "no home"?
Now is the time. You call to me,
begging me to let you have my life,
inviting me to taste the darkness
so I can be filled with the light,
allowing me to lose my direction
so that I will find my way home to you.
---Joyce Rupp
Praying Our Goodbyes
“Duh..betapa cantiknya kamu Inez. Pipimu merah ranum, alismu bagaikan sepasang gading yang menjuntai menghiasi kedua bola matamu nan bulat cemerlang. Senyummu bagaikan bulan purnama yang menghunjam dan menggetarkan setiap hati pria yang memandang,” demikian tutur kata Chris tatkala merayu Inez, gadis pujaan hatinya.
Kata-kata rayuan yang seperti itu merupakan suatu bentuk pengungkapan atas kekagumannya kepada kecantikan lahiriah yang dimiliki Inez. Kecenderungan tren dunia ini memang mengagungkan kecantikan/ketampan an lahiriah. Setiap hari kita dijejali dengan beraneka ragam iklan produk kecantikan dan perawatan tubuh. Dari yang berharga ribuan rupiah sampai puluhan juta rupiah.
Kehalusan kulit, hidung yang mancung, bibir yang tipis, alis yang halus menjadi standar kecantikan kaum wanita. Ikon-ikon kecantikan dunia sperti Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss dan lainnya menjadikan setiap gadis muda ingin tampil seperti mereka. Hal-hal itu merupakan sesuatu yang common di dunia kita. Tuhan memang menciptakan manusia dengan keindahan dan kelebihan masing-masing.
Dan ada banyak pria maupun wanita yang menjadikan ukuran ketampanan/kecantik an lahiriah tersebut sebagai standar dalam pencarian jodohnya. Apabila diteliti seksama, banyak rumah tangga yang dibangun atas dasar itu menjadi rapuh dan rawan dengan pertengkaran bahkan perceraian. Kenapa? Karena lahiriah kita dari hari ke hari akan makin menurun. Kecantikan dan ketampanan akan berangsur-angsur pudar seiring dengan mulai timbulnya garis-garis ketuaan di wajah.
Masa honeymoon biasanya hanya ada di tahun-tahun awal pernikahan. Dimana keduanya saling menikmati kecantikan/ketampan an lahiriah pasangannya. BUT….ketika eros (gairah seksualitas) itu telah terpuaskan, mereka juga akan dihadapkan pada karakter asli pasangannya. Faktor ini juga merupakan kerawanan dalam hubungan rumah tangga. Seperti yang penulis pernah temui mengenai seorang pria yang “menyesali” perkawinannya. Ia secara jujur mengatakan bahwa ia menikahi istrinya karena kecantikan dan kemolekan tubuh istrinya. Namun setelah beberapa tahun menikah, ia menyesal karena istrinya hanya di rumah saja dan tidak mau terlibat dalam aktifitas luar, seperti aktif dalam perkumpulan istri-istri karyawan di kantornya.
Istrinya hanya makan, tidur, menonton tv dan lainnya. “Malas…dia sangat malas,” tuturnya menyesali perkawinannya. Ada begitu banyak pasangan muda lain yang merasakan hal sama, bila ukuran kecantikan/ketampan an lahiriah menjadi tolak ukur atau standar pemilihan jodoh. Jadi bagaimana? Carilah pasangan hidup berdasarkan Inner Beauty-nya juga, dan bukan hanya berpatokan pada kecantikan lahiriahnya. Inner beauty atau kecantikan yang berasal dari dalam, dari hati orang tersebut meliputi karakter, sifat, kebiasaan dan gaya hidup orang tersebut.
Carilah someone yang telah berjumpa dengan Kristus dan menjadi ciptaan baru (2 Kor 5:17). Sebab person yang seperti ini pasti telah dikarunia sifat-sifat Allah yang baik (Galatia 5:22-23). Ia akan memancarkan karakter Kristus dalam kehidupannya. Kepribadiannya penuh kasih, sukacita, lemah lembut, sabar, murah hati, baik hati dan penuh pengendalian diri. Menikah dengan pribadi seperti itu akan sangat menyenangkan. Keduanya akan menjadi pasangan yang saling melengkapi, saling membangun dan menutupi kelemahan masing-masing.
Ingatlah, seperti kata orang-orang bijak, bahwa menikah itu sama seperti memasuki ruangan yang tidak memiliki pintu keluar. Oleh karenanya, berhati-hatilah dalam memilih pasangan hidupmu. Jangan hanya menggunakan ukuran kecantikan lahiriah, tetapi pakailah juga inner beauty sebagai salah satu kriteria sobat muda.
Dengan begitu, dengan yakin kita akan dapat mengatakan bahwa perkawinan yang dibangun adalah till death do us apart.. atau sampai kematian yang memisahkan. Happy searching. God bless.
Blessings in Jesus, Bobby, M.Th
http://www.rotihidu p.co.cc
SEORANG lelaki tua yang baru ditinggal mati isterinya tinggal bersama anaknya, Arwan dan menantu perempuannya, Rina, serta cucunya, Viva yang baru berusia enam tahun. Keadaan lelaki tua itu sudah uzur, jari-jemarinya senantiasa gemetar dan pandangannya semakin hari semakin buram.
Malam pertama pindah ke rumah anaknya, mereka makan malam bersama. Lelaki tua itu merasa kurang nyaman menikmati hidangan di meja makan. Dia merasa amat canggung menggunakan sendok dan garpu. Selama ini dia gemar bersila, tapi di rumah anaknya dia tiada pilihan. Cukup sukar dirasakannya, sehingga seringkali makanan tersebut tumpah.
Sebenarnya dia merasa malu seperti itu di depan anak menantu, tetapi dia gagal menahannya. Oleh karena kerap sekali dilirik menantu, selera
makannyapun hilang. Dan tatkala dia memegang gelas minuman, pegangannya terlepas. Praaaaaannnnngggggg!!
Bertaburanlah serpihan gelas di lantai.Pak tua menjadi serba salah. Dia bangun, mencoba memungut serpihan gelas itu, tapi Arwan melarangnya. Rina cemberut, mukanya masam. Viva merasa kasihan melihat kakeknya, tapi dia hanya dapat melihat untuk kemudian meneruskan makannya."Esok ayah tak boleh makan bersama kita,"
Viva mendengar ibunya berkata pada kakeknya, ketika kakeknya beranjak masuk ke dalam kamar. Arwan hanya membisu. Sempat anak kecil itu
memandang tajam ke dalam mata ayahnya.Demi memenuhi tuntutan Rina, Arwan membelikan sebuah meja kecil yang rendah, lalu diletakkan di sudut ruang makan. Disitulah ayahnya menikmati hidangan sendirian, sedangkan anak menantunya makan di meja makan. Viva juga dilarang apabila dia merengek ingin makan bersama kakeknya.Air mata lelaki tua meleleh mengenang nasibnya diperlakukan demikian. Ketika itu dia teringat kampung halaman yang ditinggalkan. Dia terkenang arwah isterinya. Lalu perlahan-lahan dia berbisik: "Miah... buruk benar layanan anak
kita pada abang."Sejak itu, lelaki tua merasa tidak betah tinggal di situ. Setiap hari dia dihardik karena menumpahkan sisa makanan. Dia diperlakukan seperti budak. Pernah dia terpikir untuk lari dari situ, tetapi begitu dia teringat cucunya, dia pun menahan diri. Dia tidak mau melukai hati cucunya. Biarlah dia menahan diri dicaci dan dihina anak menantu. Suatu malam, Viva terperanjat melihat kakeknya makan menggunakan piring kayu, begitu juga gelas minuman yang dibuat dari bambu.
Dia mencoba mengingat-ingat, di manakah dia pernah melihat piring seperti itu.
"Oh! Ya..." bisiknya.
Viva teringat, semasa berkunjung ke rumah sahabat papanya dia melihat tuan rumah itu memberi makan kucing-kucing mereka menggunakan piring yang sama!"Tak akan ada lagi yang pecah, kalau tidak begitu, nanti habis piring dan mangkuk ibu," kata Rina apabila anaknya bertanya.Waktu terus berlalu. Walaupun makanan berserakan setiap kali waktu makan, tiada lagi piring atau gelas yang pecah. Apabila Viva memandang kakeknya yang sedang menyuap makanan, kedua-duanya hanya berbalas senyum.Seminggu kemudian, sewaktu pulang bekerja, Arwan dan Rina terperanjat melihat anak mereka sedang bermain dengan kepingan-kepingan kayu. Viva seperti sedang membuat sesuatu.
Ada palu, gergaji dan pisau di sisinya.
"Sedang membuat apa sayang? Berbahaya main benda-benda seperti ini," kata Arwan menegur manja anaknya.
Dia sedikit heran bagaimana anaknya dapat mengeluarkan peralatan itu, padahal ia menyimpannya di dalam gudang.
"Mau bikin piring, mangkuk dan gelas untuk Ayah dan Ibu. Bila Viva besar nanti, supaya tak susah mencarinya, tak usah ke pasar beli piring seperti untuk Kakek," kata Viva.Begitu mendengar jawaban anaknya, Arwan terkejut. Perasaan Rina terusik. Kelopak mata kedua-duanya basah. Jawaban Viva menusuk seluruh jantung, terasa seperti diiiris pisau.
Mereka tersentak, selama ini mereka telah berbuat salah !Malam itu Arwan menuntun tangan ayahnya ke meja makan. Rina menyendokkan nasi dan menuangkan minuman ke dalam gelas. Nasi yang tumpah tidak dihiraukan lagi. Viva beberapa kali memandang ibunya, kemudian ayah dan terakhir wajah kakeknya. Dia tidak bertanya, cuma tersenyum saja, bahagia dapat duduk bersebelahan lagi dengan kakeknya di meja makan. Lelaki tua itu juga tidak tahu kenapa anak menantunya tiba-tiba berubah."Esok Viva mau buang piring kayu dan gelas bambu itu" kata Viva pada ayahnya setelah selesai makan.
Arwan hanya mengangguk, tetapi dadanya masih terasa sesak.
MORAL OF THE STORY :
Hargailah kasih sayang kedua orang tua kita. Bapak Ibu kita hanya satu, setelah meninggal tidak akan ada pengganti. Jadi, berbaktilah kepada mereka selagi hidup
Whether or not your partner is right for you is one of the most important decisions of your life. Your entire future depends on these choices so how can you be sure you have the picked the right one?
Well, the first thing you need to do is honestly ask yourself is why you love or are with your partner? You would be surprised at the answers you hear when you ask that same question to your friends.
The wrong answers to that question include the following:
Because they love me.
It's better than being alone.
I don't want to hurt them.
Because I am not sure I would find someone better.
These answers indicate a relationship built upon fear, insecurity and pity.
There are good matches out there, but if there are too many ifs, ands or buts then sooner or later the relationship will fail. Now that doesn't mean you will break up, you could stay together for the rest of your lives and still fail as a couple.
So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner?
Obviously you are going to choose a partner that you are physically attracted to. Apart from that aspect, there are a few important areas you should look at:
Communication Level
When you talk to them, are they on the same level as you? How long does it take them to answer your question? Do you get bored because they answer everything else under the sun rather than the question you asked or do you enjoy the tangents they take you on?
Do they speak very slowly compared to you? Do they understand you when you speak? Can you really talk to them about absolutely anything?
This may not seem important now but could you imagine living with someone for the next 50 - 70 years that can never answer a direct question, frustrates you to no end by their speed of communication and just doesn't get it when are trying to explain something to them?
Common Interests
This is really a given. You have to have something in common with them to be able to be with them. Otherwise you will have nothing to talk about and nothing to do together. Yes, physically you may have great sex, but how far can that really take you? When two people have different interests, one person usually ends up sacrificing their desires for the other person... or you end up living completely seperate lives.
Ambitions
Do you both want the same things in life or are they going to hold you back? Are they willing to let you have that career you have always wanted. Even if it means working long hours plus going to school at night?
Ethics Level
Do they have the same values as you? Would they feel totally OK doing something that you would have strong objections to or vice versa? Do you have the same beliefs on major issues such as religion, prejdudice, raising children etc? If not, is this something that will become a problem in the future?
Grooming and Cleanliness
Are they a slob and you the type of person that likes to keep the house immaculate? Do you take the same level of care of your appearance?
There is a lot of false information about relationships out there. One of the biggest lies is that opposites attract. That is really just a myth. Now a lot of the things I have listed above do come down to personal choice. It comes down to what you are and are not willing to accept. Just because you have fallen in love with someone does not mean that they are the right one for you. The number of people in physically abusive relationships should be testament enough to that. One thing is for sure. Do not settle for something less than you want because you are scared of hurting them, being alone or you feel this might be the best you can get. You never know what you might have missed that was right around the corner. Settling is always settling, no matter what way you look at it. By doing so, you will be left with a lifetime of "what ifs".
[James Be-apuo ]
Just a little girl with sadness in her eyes,
As she dissappoints her father by convincing herself through selfish lies,
During the time, sin looked good, it was all fun and games,
But when the day was over, all it did was bring her Father shame.
Full of regret, anguish and pain,
I knew that what I was doing was wrong and done in vain,
It was something I thought I knew how to control but I did not,
Instead it left upon my white garment a rubbish and nasty spot
Oh Lord I am so sorry for the sins that I have done,
I am sorry how I’ve hurt you and I knew it was so wrong,
Lord please forgive me, and wash me clean from what I’ve done in my past
I am so sorry Lord, I don’t want this hurt I’ve done to You continue to last.
Forgive me Lord, and purify my heart.
Forgive me Lord, I don’t want to ever depart.
Lord, Help me to live the ways you desire me to.
Thank You Jesus, Lord I want to forever be with You.
Jesus, From this day forward, I will no longer live in regret,
You’ve washed me clean, my sins You said, I will forget.
Thank You Jesus for Your mercy and Your grace,
Thank You Jesus You still allow me to run and finish the race
I did not know His love before,
The way I know it now.
I could not see my need for Him,
My pride would not allow.
I had it all, without a care,
The "self-sufficient" lie.
My path was smooth, my sea was still,
Not a cloud was in my sky.
I thought I knew His love for me,
I thought I'd seen His grace,
I thought I did not need to grow,
I thought I'd found my place.
But when the way grew rough and dark,
The storm clouds quickly rolled;
The waves began to rock my ship,
My anchor would not hold.
The ship that I had built myself
Was made of foolish pride.
It fell apart and left me bare,
With nowhere else to hide.
I had no strength or faith to face
The trials that lay ahead,
And so I simply prayed to Him
And bowed my weary head.
His loving arms enveloped me,
And then He helped me stand.
He said, "You still must face this storm,
But I will hold your hand."
So through the dark and lonely night
He guided me through all the pain.
I could not see the light of day
Or when the storm might wane.
Yet through the aches and endless tears,
My faith began to grow.
I could not see it at the time,
But my light began to glow.
I saw God's love in brand new light,
His grace and mercy, too.
For only when all self was gone
Could Jesus' love shine through.
It was not easy in the storm,
I sometimes wondered, "Why?"
At times I thought, "I can't go on."
I'd hurt and doubt and cry.
But Jesus never left my side,
He guided me each day.
Through pain and strife,
Through fire and flood,
He helped me all the way.
And now I see as never before
How great His love can be.
How in my weakness He is strong,
How Jesus cares for me!
He worked it all out for my good,
Although the way was rough.
He only sent what I could bear,
And then He cried, "Enough!"
He raised His hand and said, "Be still!"
He made the storm clouds cease.
He opened up the gates of joy
And flooded me with peace.
I see His face now clearer still,
I felt His presence strong.
I found anew His faithfulness,
He never did me wrong.
Now I know more storms will come,
But only for my good,
For pain and tears have helped me grow
As naught else ever could.
I still have so much more to learn
As Jesus works in me reform
If in the storm I love Him more,
Then I know....
The Blessings In the Storm
The Distance Between Us (very nice poem I've seen)
The distance between us
Is more than I can bear
But my selfishness brought me here
Leaving you, and my heart, there
Even though I cared for you
More than anything in life
You did not feel the same
Causing me this strife
I fell for you, My closest friend
But I couldn't hide it
And that was the beginning of the end
Oh, I should have known better
Than to tell you how I felt
But I did, and you didn't
So the final blow was dealt
We carried on like normal
As if nothing had been said
Though inside I felt like crying
Outside I tried to be a good friend instead
All too soon
Seeing you hurt so much
Knowing you would never be mine
That I'd never feel your touch
So I went
Far far away
To this place
Where I sit alone today
Over and over I ask
What have I done
Friend or more
I tried for two but lost my one
The distance between us
Is more than I can stand
You with my heart, me all alone
Between us so much land
As i watch the sky seperate from the rays of the sun,
God's majesty is seen on that marvelous painting
The sun arose outsmiling it's sunshine,
God's kindness is written in each angle
Mountains stood in command of the Lord
God's intelligence is whispered at every peak
counting the marks of each barked tree
God's faith growing in belief
the age of those calmed rivers uncounted
God's grace swaying at each tide
sparkling stars inspired from the moon
God's mercy for each one
all his creation praise him for his greatness
God's love reflected in them,
we are amazingly blessed!
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